Sunday, July 17, 2005

another finished sock

blue sock

I am obsessed with those stupid footie socks. I stayed up past 11 Friday night working on the next one. I think about them when I sleep. I want to knit the world a pair of socks. It’s insane.

I was talking to a friend this week about her relationship. Now, those of you who know me are probably used to hearing me say “Dump him, he’s a loser, he’s not that into you, etc, etc, etc.” However that all changes once a child is born. If you have a child with someone you are bound to them for life. Period. Even if you’re bored or tired or angry. Really in my opinion the only exception is abuse. (Oddly, women who are abused are more likely to stick around and let their kids get beat up on, but that’s another story).

I know marriage is hard, I know it’s not always the sunshine and roses we expected when we walked down the aisle. But what I told my friend and what I tell you all now is this. It isn’t about you. Look in the mirror and say it with me. “It’s not about me.” The only thing that matters is the health and happiness of your child.

But I never let people off easily (including myself if it makes any difference.) You can’t just “stay together for the children” either. You have to work. You have to look across the kitchen table and find something you love about that man every single day of your life. You obviously loved him at some point or the child would not be around, right?

He’s a loser? Whip him into shape. He’s not interesting? Maybe you’re the one who’s not really interesting. He’s not the man you married? Honey, let me tell you, you’re nowhere near the woman he married.

Children are better off with happy parents in a strong and healthy relationship. You decide to have that strong and healthy relationship, no one else can decide it for you. But please, for the love of all that is good in this world, take a step back out of your selfishness and try to make things work.

Lecture is officially over.

Now on to the discussion of the weather. You know how all of you in Canada were complaining a few months back about snow and ice and storms and misery? We were laughing at you, basking in our sunshiney winter, growing vegetables and lying by the pool. We are paying dearly for it now.

Phoenix has odd weather, really. It’s not too bad until right before the monsoon, and then it’s as if Mother Nature has decided she doesn’t like cookie dough ice cream anymore, she likes burnt cookies and she likes them all day long. (we, the residents of Phoenix, are the blobs of cookie dough in this scenario, in case that wasn’t clear.)

After a few days of temperatures above 110, we are all miserable, cranky and mad about the weather. We don’t want to leave the house. It’s even too hot to go swimming. And then the storms start.

Of course they don’t start with rain – that would be too nice a break. They start with wind that seems as if a giant hairdryer was pointed on your house at high speed. This is what happened in our yard, shortly before the electricity went out:

storm 2

storm 1

Yes, that is our tree. Broken. But still no rain, nothing to cool off this miserable city.

Luckily Jeff came to dinner tonight. We had to eat in the living room because the dining room is about 20 degrees warmer. I set up a card table with all the cute stuff we bought from his garage sale and Joe made baked ziti. Except the power went out, so we ordered pizza. Then the power came back on so we had both! Here we all are, enjoying Arizona as much as we possibly can:


Jeff remarked as he was leaving that this was the first time he hung out with me without the baby. (Don’t worry, the baby was here, he was just asleep.) I do exist outside of that kid, I swear it. It’s nice to have a friend who doesn’t have kids so we can discuss various topics that don’t revolve around diapers and breastfeeding. I mean, it’s nice to have friends with kids as well, because they are invaluable when strange things happen and you need a shoulder to cry on. But a little bit of balance is slowly returning to my world and I am happy about that.

I’m tired now, I may not even knit tonight (!).


Blogger PJS said...

This looks like a fun dinner party, sorry I missed it. And I'm very pleased to see the "Green Thing" in the living room, despite Joe's objections.

Mmmm... baked ziti...

6:38 AM  
Blogger potusol said...

I had no idea Joe objected to me being there.

7:38 AM  
Blogger Berly's Blog said...

Whew!!! I thought you were going to start talking about how many doors we have went through! He, he!

3:41 PM  

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